Attending Harvard was a transformative experience filled with remarkable moments and lifelong memories, for which I am extremely grateful. However, the high highs were accompanied by low lows. There were many aspects that negatively surprised me and for which I was unprepared.
Now, after graduation, I’ve had some free time and I finished reading “The Privileged Poor: How Elite Colleges Are Failing Disadvantaged Students” by Anthony Abraham Jack, a gift from my lovely mentor whom I met through the First Generation Harvard Alumni mentoring program. After reflecting on my experience, I can still say that Harvard was a net positive for me, and I generally don’t like to complain without reason. However, I feel it is important to discuss this.
Throughout my time at Harvard, and even now beyond those four years, I am constantly asked about how to get into Harvard and what the experience is like. For many who have only heard about Harvard in movies and books, without any real-life experience or knowing anyone who has attended, the image can be very distorted. I was one of those people, coming to Harvard knowing only that it’s a prestigious and difficult-to-enter school. Understanding more about the culture could have helped me integrate much faster.
There’s also the other side—those who apply and are devastated when they don’t get in. To them, I want to say, it’s not the end of the world. Yes, Harvard opens doors for you, but with hard work, people from all sorts of places can succeed.
Without further ado, I’m sharing some things I would change about Harvard. It mostly relates to the culture of the student population, as mixing people from different backgrounds is a noble pursuit, but can fall short in some things. While these are based on my personal experiences, they are also things that I constantly hear other Harvard students discuss.
Constant Pressure and Feelings of Inadequacy
It’s probably no surprise that the academic pressure at Harvard is immense. Most freshmen come in having experienced only being top of their class, to later find themselves suddenly fighting to be “just average.” Many students, including myself, often felt inadequate, constantly comparing ourselves to our overachieving peers. This pressure can be overwhelming and extremely detrimental to mental health.
I feel like I need to relearn how to accept myself as I am since those four years did a lot of damage. Even at graduation, a day meant for celebration, I felt sad and frustrated at times because I didn’t graduate with the highest honors and awards. I even thought I shouldn’t celebrate because of that. While high standards are part of Harvard’s reputation, more support systems should be in place to help students manage stress and understand that it’s okay not to be perfect.
Of course, one could attend Harvard and avoid comparing themselves to others, maintaining a healthy self-esteem throughout college. However, the surrounding environment affects almost everyone and it is hard to escape.
Confusing Social Scene and Hierarchy
The social scene at Harvard is perplexing, and often dominated by an unspoken hierarchy. Certain social and pre-professional clubs are highly sought after (often just for the sake of being able to say you’re in them), but the criteria for admission can be quite random, often based on how well-connected you are. This creates an environment where it can be challenging to find genuine connections. A large part of the student body comes from wealthier backgrounds, with many having family connections to Harvard or other top universities, so they have grown up surrounded by this environment.
Then there are people like me, who didn’t even consider Harvard an option until my junior year of high school. Moving to campus, I had no idea what to expect or how to act. For people like me, it can sometimes feel like you’re missing out on the best opportunities because you either didn’t know they existed or didn’t know how to access them. Often, I would learn about an award, scholarship, or club only after hearing about someone who was involved, by which time it was too late for me to do anything about it.
This ties into the perfectionism that many at Harvard experience, becoming anxious if you’re not always the best or not getting the best out of every experience. It was a good practice for me to learn to let things go sometimes, but throughout my college experience, I felt frustrated that I was constantly playing catch-up with peers who had years of experience ahead of me – whether it was knowing how to excel academically, attend the right events, or apply to the best programs.
Coming from Finland, where no one prepares you for an environment like this, meant that I was behind many of my peers. I know I’m not alone in this struggle, as most other first-generation students I’ve talked to have had very similar concerns, sometimes struggling even more than me.
Competition for Extracurriculars
You’d think that once you’re at Harvard, you’d be all set for life, right? Well, not always. Some extracurricular activities at Harvard are fiercely competitive, sometimes accepting only 10% of applicants or less. Given that all your competitors are similarly competent Harvard students, it feels surreal that you still need to prove yourself and show why you’re better than your peers. This can be discouraging, particularly for students who are not used to such high levels of competition.
It also gives an advantage to those who come in knowing about the structures and who may even prepare for their extracurricular applications before setting foot on campus. Sometimes the competition feels silly because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t seem that important to be in a certain student organization. It can feel like the low acceptance rates are just ego boosts for those who are in (many Harvard students struggle with letting go of their love of exclusivity, unfortunately).
While competition can drive excellence, it also risks excluding talented individuals for no good reason. Creating more opportunities for fair participation and reducing barriers to entry would help more students engage in these valuable experiences and feel like they belong. Helping students let go of their need for exclusivity is key as well. I’m a big advocate for social mobility, so seeing these hierarchies play out on campus was disheartening.
Navigating Resources
When I first arrived at Harvard, I had no idea what office hours were or how to effectively use the numerous resources available. It wasn’t clear from the beginning, and many students, especially those from underrepresented backgrounds, struggled to navigate this maze. Harvard has abundant resources for sure, but they are scattered across different departments, making it hard to know where to go for specific needs.
For instance, there were times when I needed academic advice, but I didn’t know whether to approach my academic advisor, the department head, or a specific student support service. This confusion often led to delays in getting the help I needed. Additionally, the process of finding and applying for grants, scholarships, or even mental health resources was often convoluted and overwhelming.
Office hours are an example of an unfamiliar concept for me. For many students, especially those from educational systems where such practices are not common, the idea of meeting professors outside of class can feel intimidating. Initially, I felt like I was wasting their precious time when I went to chat with them. It took a while for me to understand that professors genuinely want to help and get to know their students. These interactions can be incredibly valuable, offering personalized guidance and fostering mentor-mentee relationships.
Moreover, there’s a cultural aspect to navigating these resources. Students from prep schools or those with family members who attended elite universities often come in knowing how to leverage these resources effectively. They understand the importance of networking, attending office hours, and seeking out extracurricular opportunities. In contrast, first-generation students like me might not have this insider knowledge, putting us at a disadvantage.
The disparity in resource navigation can contribute to feelings of isolation and frustration. It’s not just about knowing where to go, but also feeling confident and entitled to seek out these resources. Towards the end of college, I was quite good at finding the right resources and being comfortable asking for help and taking space, but not without having to struggle at first.
Reflections and Gratitude
Despite these challenges, I do not regret going to Harvard. I had a wonderful time overall, filled with amazing memories and learnings that I will cherish. However, it is crucial to recognize that while Harvard may be glamorized, it is not the perfect fit for everyone. And that’s okay. The experience varies greatly depending on one’s background, but also with effort and determination, I found that much can be achieved. Pushing myself to excel in difficult and frustrating situations led to greater accomplishments than I might have achieved in a less challenging environment. If I hadn’t gone to Harvard or a similar school, I probably wouldn’t have tried as hard as I did. As a result, I wouldn’t have learned as much or dared to reach as high as I do now, having seen success from much closer than ever before.
I also made many friends who shared similar backgrounds and experiences, so I didn’t feel as lonely. Additionally, I got to be part of many amazing student organizations, where I learned a lot of useful skills. Even though my time at Harvard was hard at times, I can already tell, just a month after graduation, that it will help me immensely in the future.
I also do believe things are improving at Harvard. There is growing representation and resources for first-generation, low-income students, which is a positive step forward. One of the highlights of my graduation week was the affinity celebration for first-generation students, which honored those who are the first in their families to graduate from college and the extra struggles they have gone through. Celebrating these achievements is crucial, and I am proud to have been a part of that. To end, even though Harvard is hard and I hope the culture will change in the future, the experience is also what you make it.