My Four Life Lessons from Harvard

Graduating from Harvard was a momentous occasion, marking the culmination of years of hard work, perseverance, and growth. As I look back on my time there, several key reflections stand out that I believe are valuable lessons for anyone embarking on their journey, whether at Harvard or elsewhere. The difficult four years are now behind me, and the things I went through taught me important lessons that will serve me in the future.

1. You Need to Demand Your Space

One of the most important lessons I learned is the necessity of demanding space for yourself and recognizing that you deserve it. In an environment as competitive and crowded as Harvard, it’s easy to feel overshadowed or overlooked. However, it’s essential to assert your presence and make your voice heard. Whether in the classroom, social settings, or pursuing opportunities, claiming your space and advocating for yourself can significantly impact your experience and success.

Often, no one will hand you what you deserve because most people are kind and hardworking and might not receive all they deserve either. The reality is, you get what you ask for. This doesn’t mean being selfish or inconsiderate, but many people struggle with finding the courage to ask for what they truly deserve. For example, attend office hours even if you feel like you’re “bothering” the professor, request better financial aid, or negotiate deals. Speaking up for yourself can make a substantial difference. I have definitely not mastered this completely and still feel embarrassed to ask for more at times, but now I’m at least on the right track. 

2. Don’t Follow the Crowd Just Because

At Harvard, it’s tempting to follow the crowd, especially when surrounded by high achievers and influential peers. However, one of my biggest reflections is the importance of staying true to yourself. Pursue your passions and interests, even if they diverge from the mainstream. Authenticity is key to finding true fulfillment and success, and it’s important to carve out a path that resonates with who you are, not just what is popular or expected.

This was something I struggled with during most of my time at Harvard. The consensus seemed to be that you needed a good internship in certain key fields, get a return offer, and move to New York City. For me, as I decided early on to move back to Finland and Europe, I only knew a couple of people who made similar choices. It was easy to start second-guessing my decisions, worrying that my life wouldn’t be as good because I wasn’t chasing the same things. However, many people who took the conventional path told me how much they admired me for staying true to myself and my choices, and that validation felt good. Many also end up regretting choosing a “safer” path instead of doing what they wanted more. It’s important to know that just because a certain path is popular doesn’t make it the best one. Staying true to your own goals and values is crucial for genuine satisfaction and success.

3. Life is Not Always Fair

Life at Harvard, much like life in general, is not always fair. Despite your best efforts, there will be times when things don’t go your way, and you’ll encounter obstacles that seem insurmountable. Accepting that life is inherently unfair can be liberating; it allows you to focus on what you can control and develop resilience.

During my time at Harvard, I faced several instances where, despite my hard work and dedication, the outcomes were not what I had hoped for. There were moments when I didn’t get the grades I aimed for, missed out on opportunities I felt I deserved, or faced personal challenges that seemed too difficult to overcome. These experiences taught me that sometimes, no matter how much effort you put in, the results might still fall short of your expectations.

Learning to navigate and overcome these challenges is a crucial part of personal growth and prepares you for the realities beyond the university. Instead of being paralyzed by unfairness, you learn to adapt, persevere, and find new paths to success. This mindset shift is not about accepting defeat but about understanding that setbacks are part of the journey and can lead to growth and new opportunities.

4. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone (But Not All the Time)

Harvard pushed me to step out of my comfort zone in many ways, from taking challenging courses to engaging in new, unfamiliar social activities. This growth was invaluable, as it helped me discover strengths and capabilities I didn’t know I had. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the environment Harvard fostered. However, it’s also important to recognize your limits. Pushing yourself is essential, but so is maintaining your mental and physical well-being. Finding a balance between challenging yourself and knowing when to take a step back is key to sustained success and happiness. There is no way you can constantly push yourself for four years straight without facing serious burnout.

Especially for people like me, who are first-gen students, it can feel like Harvard is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you need to take full advantage of every second. While it is true that it is a very special environment, there will be times when you can’t always give your best effort. Throughout my time, I saw people on social media platforms like Reddit and Sidechat constantly posting, asking for advice on how to make the most out of Harvard. The answer is to remember to take it easy at times because there’s no such thing as “most” when the opportunities are almost limitless. You can’t meet everyone you want to, take all the interesting classes, or try out everything you want to. Striving for unrealistic expectations just leaves you exhausted.

So, when going to a place like Harvard, it’s important to have goals, but not unrealistic expectations. Learning to experience less FOMO about everything is still a challenge for me, but with time, I’ve learned to handle it better and enjoy what I do have.

Final Thoughts

Reflecting on my Harvard experience, I realize it was a time of immense learning and personal development. These lessons have shaped my time at university and prepared me for the journey ahead, wherever it will take me in the future. As I move forward, I carry these reflections with me, ready to face new challenges and seize new opportunities with the wisdom I gained at Harvard. Life does not stop after graduation – it only begins then.